How to kill a chicken

Well with depressing predictability the artist who dumped the chickens on me has faded, leading me to explore other options. And maybe that’s for the best, UI guess it could be a useful lifeskill to know how to slaughter a chicken. As someone who broadly believes that animals should be treated as humans by humans, some of these links were quite shocking. Check out this beaming guy pictured above, who claims to have killed thousands of chickens *shudder* That link is actually a really helpful guide to slaughtering chickens but it is fucken brutal.

This link gives the four most “humane” ways to dispatch a chicken:

  1. Decapitation
  2. Break neck
  3. Bullet
  4. Gas

So just to recap:

  • Murdering an animal? All good.. simply choose your method to deprive a living being of life and remember to do it “humane”
  • Murdering a human? Oh that’s depraved. Lock up the sick fuck
  • …unless they are of a different nationality and there’s a conflict situation, in which case it’s probably fine.


Anyway, returning to the two ugly chickens squatting my yard, they aren’t dead yet but i feel a bit more informed should things head in that direction.


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