How to kill a chicken

Well with depressing predictability the artist who dumped the chickens on me has faded, leading me to explore other options. And maybe that’s for the best, UI guess it could be a useful lifeskill to know how to slaughter a chicken. As someone who broadly believes that animals should be treated as humans by humans, some of these links were quite shocking. Check out this beaming guy pictured above, who claims to have killed thousands of chickens *shudder* That link is actually a really helpful guide to slaughtering chickens but it is fucken brutal.

This link gives the four most “humane” ways to dispatch a chicken:

  1. Decapitation
  2. Break neck
  3. Bullet
  4. Gas

So just to recap:

  • Murdering an animal? All good.. simply choose your method to deprive a living being of life and remember to do it “humane”
  • Murdering a human? Oh that’s depraved. Lock up the sick fuck
  • …unless they are of a different nationality and there’s a conflict situation, in which case it’s probably fine.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Anyway, returning to the two ugly chickens squatting my yard, they aren’t dead yet but i feel a bit more informed should things head in that direction.

Chickens!?

By a rather random route, two chickens arrived at the pirate island yesterday. One is small and white (born march 17), the other is large and black, with amazing feather that glint green and orange.
A friend did an art project which involved eating with chickens, rather than eating chickens, and after what must have been a rather confusing day, the chickens ended up here.
A few people have all recommended i get chickens recently, so it seems like the universe is conspiring in this direction.
Having been offline for a week after my internets ran out (i was streaming too much TV in an attempt not to get depressed by the terrible weather), i was unable to do any research yet about hosting chickens, although my friend told me some stuff and left me with food and broken shells (it’s good for chickens to eat hard stuff for making their eggs – you can even boil their eggs and feed them back to them, i like that though a lot).
More to come! (including fotos of course)