One thing I cannot avoid living this way is that the pace of existence is dictated by many other things apart from my own will. I suppose that’s what civilisation means in one sense, the conquering of nature. So a rainy day means getting into town to do things is quite difficult, now sure it doesn’t make it impossible but who wants to get on a bike when it’s chuckin it down outside? Overall I’m glad I got rid of the car a few months ago, but this has certainly made things more tricky.
And there’s pace, but there’s also expectation. Several tasks I wanted to get done have instead got the better of me recently, which I’ve found a bit depressing.
So the garden expansion is halted, the pond continues to dry up, the guttering at one side of the house is broken and I can’t work out how to fix it (on the other it’s nonexistent and a plan on how to fix it eludes me), the trellis for the hops remains unbuilt awaiting a good design, rocket stoves aren’t researched and cherries rot on the tree. There just aren’t enough hours in the day!
But these are all big tasks, which take time to accomplish and I am chipping away at them slowly, bit by bit. Some of the questions I’m asking and puzzling over may not have a good answer, or any answer indeed, that’s also a lesson for me. The main thing I think is to observe how my pace gets calmed by the pace of life around it. And that’s not easy for me to do.
This is kind of a second orbit of these problems since winter drastically reduced my pace when it was too cold to do yoga, when I needed to get to the library when it was open to charge my computer, when some days I didn’t feel like doing anythign except curl up in bed. Now, the temperature is better sure, and I have the solar panel, but the stove isn’t on to heat water and it’s taken me a while to adjust to using solar camping showers, which of course are only heated for a certain time befoe comign cold again. Dredging the pond and the sloot goes very slow. The rain stops me moving around more than snow did. And actually the heat was oppressive a few days when we got into 30plus temperatures. Although that is a luxury problem of course!!